How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
