I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize