i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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