I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
