4 words: hood of his car
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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