when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
