until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
