i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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