dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
