this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
