the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Bring me that man meat
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
