you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
