i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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