Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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