Don't make out with my wife yet
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
