6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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