i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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