yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
