Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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