Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
