I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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