I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
