My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize