508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
