there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
