@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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