I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
