This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
