I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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