the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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