I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
