didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
