The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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