fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
