Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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