and my herpes radar will keep us safe
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
