I am spending my child support on dildos
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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