Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
