My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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