I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
