I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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