I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
