sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
where does the pee come out of this thing
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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