So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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