Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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