Christians are straight up FREAKS
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
