you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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