is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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