Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
