never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
