nutella sex= disaster
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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