Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
