I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
