I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
