You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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