A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
