Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
