Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have demons in me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
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