There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
