He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
