Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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