I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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