No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
