the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
